50 Books in 50 Weeks (Pt. I)

Tags

A Tale of the Malazan Book of the Fallen, Before They Are Hanged, Blood Heir, Brain Ruckley, Daniel Abraham, Dresden Files, Gardens of the Moon, Good Omens, Jim Butcher, Joe Abercrombie, John Brockman, Laurence Gardner, Neil Gaiman, Shadow and Betrayal, Small Favour, Steven Erikson, Terry Pratchett, The Blade Itself, The First Law, The Godless World, The Long Price, The Shadow of Solomon, What is Your Dangerous Idea, Winterbirth

Maybe you’ve heard of it, maybe you’ve fallen afoul of the popular meme; maybe not. I however have decided that if I’m not reading a book a week, then I’m really not keeping up with my field. So Starting now, its time to be catching up with what I’ve read, doing 2 sentence reviews, and then looking for the next literary fix.

So starting back at the beginning (as far as I can recall) we now begin the not-so-epic saga of 50 books for 2010. Now before I begin I should start off by saying that my reading for 2010 pretty much started for me with a visit to the Galaxy book-store where I did the unthinkable. I picked up book one in three separate series.

Not so strange you think? Traditionally however I’ve avoided multi-part series unless they’re already finished. What if the writer dies? Or never gets around to finishing that series you’re on the edge of your seat waiting for (looking at you George RR Martin). This time, one of each and maybe I won’t be stuck reading a crap series simply because I bought all the books at once.

So here are the first 10, amazing in the fact that there wasn’t a novel here that annoyed me. All good (in their own ways) all books I’m glad I read.

1 Shadow and Betrayal – Daniel Abraham
The Long Price (Book One): Nice Asian feel to this one, nice story, interesting background concepts. Not quite to my taste, but good all the same.

2 Winterbirth – Brian Ruckley
The Godless World (Book One): Love the world, and love the story, not particularly in love with the characters. Its not that they’re bad characters, just that they don’t particularly grip me and I find myself skipping the names just to get to the meat of the story.

3 The Blade Itself – Joe Abercrombie
The First Law (Book One): Kind of the reverse of Brain Ruckley’s work, here I love the detail and depth given to the characters but the plot seems a bit… meh….

4 Gardens of the Moon – Steven Erikson
A Tale of the Malazan Book of the Fallen: Not a quiet read, this one gets you thinking, and in my case writing the rest of the story in my head at the end of each chapter. I have to say that this is one of those rare gems, epic fantasy that doesn’t seem to break suspension of disbelief.

5 Good Omens – Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
A read-read of a classic, what can I say? Two of my favourite thinkers writing together.

6 Small Favour – Jim Butcher
Dresden Files: Big Butler fan, and this book reminded me why. Like all the Dresden Files the novels are a bit on the light and pulpy side, but still pack a great story. Great detective genre work with the arcane almost as a glaze.

7 The Shadow of Solomon – Laurence Gardner
Um…. Still digesting. Originally I picked this up as was research material, not so sure what it became by the time I put it down. I’ll go out on a limb here and give it a “Interesting” and leave it at that.

8 What is Your Dangerous Idea – John Brockman
Awesome. Everyone should read this.

9 Blood Heir – Brain Ruckley
The Godless World (Book Two): Back in the godless world the story continues, but the characters remain bleached of real interest. Don’t get me wrong, still a good read.

 

10 Before They Are Hanged – Joe Abercrombie
The First Law (Book Two): Back in this world that seems to be looking more and more familiar, the novel follows basically three different story paths, all three of which are ultimately futile. The story has cemented itself as the frame for the characters, who while still intriguing, don’t seem to be evolving much.

WANTED: For crimes against humanity/cinematography

Tags

Bible, Biblical, Darren Aronofsky, funny, Gilgamesh, Harry Potter, Hollywood, JK Rowling, John McClane, mythology, Nephilim, Noah, Russell Crowe, Sumerian Myths, The Great Flood

So Noah huh?

“Go Russ”

An ancient story about 200 words long, that describes eight Bronze-Age humans who are all over 500 years old, building a boat the size of a football stadium with only felled trees and pitch. That might be acceptable as an item of faith, but when you try and visualise that it IS going to fall apart (as will the gopher wood water-craft).  Yet Darren Aronofsky is trying to do just that, bringing the epic tale of Noah to the big screen with its usual Hollywood spectacle. Naturally we don’t expect realism from a disaster movie, which this is, but apparently the movie is also under fire from Christians because it adds to the Biblical narrative. This seems a given as a screen-play translates to 1 page per minute of screen-time, and a literal interpretation using just the biblical text would be a movie about a minute-long. Of course you could pad out the story with semi-realistic construction times, but 120 minutes of carpentry would not make for a particularly enthralling movie, even for fans of renovation shows.

But Nephilim, we get Nephilim. You know the bad guys from the bible that may be a) half-angel b) oversized men from Canna or c) dead Philistine warriors. I’m assuming we are going for interpretation a) or b) on this one, as already dead guys make as boring a movie as the afore mentioned carpentry documentation. This movie is starting to sound like a cross between and episode of Supernatural and The Block. Lets not get involved with the whole, “how do you fit that many animals on one structurally unsound boat, with enough food to last them, and without them eating each other” question. You could go the Ray Comfort ‘types’ of animals, but of course that assumes you have no understanding of basic biology, taxonomy, or genetics. Lets not get into the accuracies of a boiled down version of the Gilgamesh story, after its been through centuries of reinterpretation and languages changes, instead lets talk Hollywood. Apparently “Paramount takes liberties with ‘Noah’ that they would never take with ‘Harry Potter,'”, probably because the Harry Potter world is far more believable. It is however, a fair comparison. Both worlds rely heavily on fantastic elements that defy belief, its just that J.K. Rowling is a little better with her consistency in maintaining the rules of her ‘world’.

Russell “Are You Not Entertained?” Crowe lends his carpentry skills to this interesting cast in a movie about god murdering all his children. We can assume that there will be the obligatory Hollywood fight scenes where Noah goes all John McClane on a bunch of angel spawn, who are understandably not wanting to be drowned just because their daddy had wings. Throw in a bit of Steve Irwin, as the 500 year old characters crash-tackle unwilling animals for their floating zoo, and many scenes with characters wielding a pooper-scooper to prevent the ark from overflowing with faecal build-up.  Then finish on a shipwrecked family landing on infertile land (Sea water would do a pretty good job of salting the earth), where the patriarch then gets blotto and passes out naked, only to then curse one of his children for putting a blanket over him while he slept. All-in-all a touching children’s story.

On the bright side American Christian extremists are likely to boycott the movie for “utter lack of reverence” for the source material, while Islamic interests are equally annoyed by the on-screen portrayal of a prophet. There are however a few people who ‘get it’, which is to say they understand that a Movie is a very different thing to a few biblical verses, no matter how you interpret those verses. Me, I’m looking forward to an unbelievable story, with an all-star cast, unrealistic action scenes,  all headed up by an overacting ham, because THAT is what Hollywood is best at.

EDIT: Oh, seems this isn’t based on the Biblical account of Noah, but the older Gnostic version (see http://drbrianmattson.com/journal/2014/3/31/sympathy-for-the-devil)

Seven things you may not know about me

Tags

About me, Atheism, mental health, Movies, Music, seven things, Writing

1. I am a disappointed atheist. I really, really, wish there was even the faintest evidence that there was something beyond the material reality. Sadly there isn’t.
2. I have an unpronounceable surname.
3. Asking me to pick a favourite film is almost as bad as asking me to pick a favourite book. My tastes change depending on mood and range from Arsenic & Old Lace, to Edge of Tomorrow, to Layer cake. The one unifying factor is escapism; If I wanted reality I’d be out in the world, not watching movies.
4. I have long been interested in psychology and counselling, which fuelled my brief tenure in Mental Health. The problem with understanding how the human psyche works is that you recognise how much damage working in Mental Health does… so I got out.
5. Music. Yes. All of it (excluding rap/country and auto tune)
6. I write. I write lots. Some of my stuff is mainstream, some is fiction, some is confronting, some is plain crass. To prevent overlap I maintain several online personas.
7. I can neither roll my tongue nor wiggle my ears.

Australian Flag

Tags

Australian Flag, Republic

Quick & Dirty, some suggestions for minimalist changes to the Australian flag.

Minimal Change, with indigenous Colours

Minor Change, with sporting Colours

Big Changes… but kind of childish (matches our national spirit)

 

For some more (professional) suggestions http://www.flagsaustralia.com.au/newflag.html

10 Women Xtian men should not marry!

Tags

10 WOMEN CHRISTIAN MEN SHOULD NOT MARRY, Biblical Contradictions, Christian, Misogyny, NYCPastor, Parody, religion

10 WOMEN CHRISTIAN MEN SHOULD NOT MARRY

(Given the population is hovering around 7 billion, you can do without these 10)

In a trending post, NYCPastor details 10 women that Christian men ought to avoid when considering marriage.  Today, I explain why I agree with him, though my reasons may differ slightly.

“23:19 Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses” – Ezekiel 23:19-20

1. The Divorcee.

Jesus clearly taught that unless the first marriage ended due to a partner’s sexual infidelity, a second marriage is to be considered invalid and adulterous.

Right?	Maybe	Wrong!
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery. — Mark 10:11Whosoever putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth adultery. — Luke 16:18	Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. Matthew 5:32But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.  — 1 Corinthians 7:15	When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. — Deuteronomy 24:1-2

While the divorcee may well be considered a sinner there is a bigger concern, that being that she has already proven that she has the independence and sheer audacity to survive the loss of a husband. Naturally being a good Christian man the idea that she might survive, even thrive, without a male should be abhorrent. Worse still she has experienced both a marriage and another man’s body before, and may call you out when you claim that something is “completely natural”.

2. The Older Woman.

Not a sin, but certainly not God’s ideal.  God expects men to be the spiritual leaders of the home (Eph 5:25) and it certainly requires an extra measure of grace to lead a woman who’s older than you. Testicles should always trump experience!   Remember God created Eve from Adam’s rib, after Adam was sculpted from clay, so they could all play hide and seek together. “And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?” – Genesis 3:8-9

3. The Feminist.

There’s no room within Christendom for the “Christian feminist.”  Though women and men have equal value in the eyes of God (Gal 3:28), they certainly aren’t allowed to act like it. Any woman who tries to usurp her husband’s authority or even claims to be a co-leader with her man is gravely dishonouring the God who created her to be subject and obedient to her husband. Such as a wife who knows what she likes in bed.

Eve was distinctly created “for” man, a point that the apostle Paul, makes abundantly clear in 1 Corinthians 11 when he writes, “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:8-9). Of course the god-given moral high ground tends to fall away when you realise that Adam was crafted from mud, and spent his days wandering around naming things like Rain-man.  Not that Paul was particularly fond of women, being celibate and preferring the company of men. “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” – Corinthians 7:1

4. The Sexy-Dresser.

Sexy might inadvertently catch your eyeballs, but it shouldn’t catch your heart. I ask you, how many good Christians have met untimely deaths at the hands of Bedouin raiders because their wife showed a shapely slice of leg while gathering water from the well? Heaven forbid that she take pleasure in her own form, and not be shamed for displaying the beauty and grace that God gave her.

The way that a woman is willing to expose herself says much about her heart: “And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart” – Proverbs 7:10.  The text in Proverbs explains that a woman will dress in a certain way to catch a certain type of man.  Don’t be that man, I don’t want more competition.

5. The Loud-Mouth.

Women may love to talk, but there’s wisdom in looking for a woman who rarely speaks. She might encroach upon time that you could use to pontificate. Gossip and slander are not good things to have in your marriage, they belong on Fox News. Besides the eloquence of scratching ones crotch and grunting is lost on the average female. Scripture speaks repeatedly about such women:“Priscilla … expounded unto him the way of God.” – Acts 18:26. You should be especially wary of intelligent woman who aren’t afraid to communicate as they may make you feel inadequate with their eloquence and ‘book learning’.

6. The Child-Hater.

Do not marry a woman who is not willing to have children. It’s not like they’re the ones who are put in real peril, just so you can live vicariously through your offspring now that you’ve realised you’re too old to ever amount to anything.

In the Christian world-view, there is absolutely no room for two married, biologically capable, human beings to remain intentionally childless. It can not be overstated how a combined income, not syphoned away by Bratz dolls and trips to the emergency room is abhorrent to God.

If God has called you to marriage, then He actually expects children. With conversion levels at an all time low it is far easier to indoctrinate infants than to try and convince rational adults that your particular variant of God is better than all the other interpretations. Both the New and Old Testaments are very clear on this teaching “ And Moses said before the LORD, Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips, and how shall Pharaoh hearken unto me?” – Exodus 6:30 … Oops, sorry, wrong quote

7. The Wander-Luster.

Wander-Luster? That’s a word now?

There’s nothing wrong with the occasional family vacation, unless you’re working minimum wage and have to hold down three jobs with no weekends just to survive.  There is something very wrong with a girl who regularly needs to be “out of the home.”  The constant desire for new experiences, new places, new faces, and new forms of entertainment only serves to clearly manifest the fact that the woman has not found her rest in God. Surely a modern woman can be satisfied with the excess of being able to acess three whole rooms, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom? What more could they possibly want in a world with unprecedented open borders and rapid, safe, travel? Believe it or not, Scripture speaks repeatedly about such women:  “And when the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon concerning the name of the LORD, she came to prove him with hard questions. – Kings 10:1 See they ask questions too, and we can’t have that!

8. The Career Woman.

There is nothing wrong with a woman who works, having said that I’m now going to tell you there is something wrong with a woman who works. What’s wrong is a woman who puts her career ahead of her family. Only men are allowed to do that… for.. reasons. Modern society might hate to hear this, but God made men to be the providers, regardless of how many broken bones, mental breakdowns or lay-offs they experience,  and women to be the nurturers of the home.  It’s okay for a woman to be a doctor, attorney, or any other professional, since they often do a better job of it.  However, if her career is coming at the expense of her home, then something is wrong. It is not the place of the man to actual spend time with his young children, they’ll see us plenty over the weekends. So in the event of children she should give up her job as a life saving cardiovascular surgeon, so that the man can provide for the triplets on his wage from recycling beer cans.

I understand that there might be a season of life where the wife might have to be the main bread-winner due to her husband’s unemployment, but it should not be the desired norm. Ugh, man must make money, no make money and penis fall off! After all men are incapable of the emotional availability required to raise children as this takes up valuable learning room that should be devoted to work, sport, and scratching that annoying swamp-arse.

9. The Devotion-less Woman.

Is the woman having a regular, daily devotional time with her God?  If she doesn’t love the Lord now, chances are, she won’t love the Lord after marriage, which means there is that much more time you’ll be forced to spend together… possibly even talking!!!!  (Don’t delude yourself–you’re not going to change her. She won’t be joining you for the monthly animal sacrifice).

You want to marry a girl who has an intimate relationship with Jesus. Unless Jesus is a tattooed Mexican gun runner, in which case I suggest you stay the hell away from his girl.  Jesus (not you) has to be the first man in her life.

Here are some good questions to ask: Does she have an active prayer life? If so does she pray to god, dance around naked under the moonlight, handle poisonous snakes, or just invoke the four cardinal directions/elements?  Does she have a heart for evangelism, because nothing beats a girl who is happy to tell people they’re going to hell!  Is she hungry for God’s Word, or does she just want to swallow your soul and drag you down into a hedonistic, atheist cohabitation?  What does her pastor/High Priest think about her?

10 The Unbeliever.

Scripture is replete with exhortations against such marriages (in both the Old and New Testaments).  Contrary to popular misconception, God’s prohibition against marriages to foreign women in the Old Testament was not due to racism.  Instead, God was simply preventing the spread of education.

Naturally questioning the word of God won’t make Him angry “God will not threaten like man, nor be inflamed to anger.” – Judith 8:15 but even it it did, it would only be brief “For his anger endureth but a moment.” – Psalm 30:5 , though brief for a deity might really ruin your life “And the Lord’s anger was kindled against Israel, and he made them wander in the wilderness for forty years.” – Numbers 32:13

The teachings of every religion grow over time, and the cognitive dissonance that can come from Bronze Age morality in a digital world can be quite extreme. Worse still when the infallible source material actually contradicts itself quite often. For example

Is it wrong to have sex outside of marriage?

Yes	No
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14, Deuteronomy 5:18Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4	And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms…. Hosea 1:2 Then said the Lord unto me, God yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress. Hosea 3:1

Does God want some to go to hell?

No	Yes
God our Saviour; who will have all men to be saved. 1 Timothy 2:3-4 The Lord is … not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9	He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them. John 12:40 God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned. 2 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Do prayers work?

Yes	No
Joel 2:32 Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered. Acts 2:21, Romans 10:13 Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved	Matthew 7:21 Not every on that saith unto me Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven. Ezekiel 8:18 Therefore will I also deal in fury: mine eye shall not spare, neither will I have pity: and though they cry in mine ears with a loud voice, yet will I not hear them. Micah 3:4 Then shall they cry unto the Lord, but he will not hear them: he will even hide his face from them at that time.

Should Christians pray in public?

Yes

No

1 Timothy 2:8 I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands.

Matthew 6:5-6 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father in secret shall reward thee openly.

How many Gods are there?

One

More

I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me. Isaiah 43:10 There is one God; and there is none other but he. Mark 12:32 That they might know thee the only true God. John 17:3 But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him. 1 Corinthians 8:6

And against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment. Exodus 12:12 Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods? Exodus 15:11 Now I know that the LORD is greater than all gods. Exodus 18:11 Upon their gods also the LORD executed judgments. Numbers 33:4 They served other gods. Joshua 24:2 Wilt not thou possess that which Chemosh thy god giveth thee to possess? Judges 11:24 The Lord … is to be feared above all gods. 1 Chronicles 16:25

Is God the source of evil?

Yes	No
Behold, this evil is of the Lord. 2 Kings 6:33 I … create evil. Isaiah 45:7 Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good? Lamentations 3:38	For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee. Psalm 5:4 God is love. 1 John 4:8

How long will the earth last?

Forever	Not Forever
Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever. Psalm 104:5 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. Ecclessiastes 1:4	The earth and the heavens are the work of thy hands. They shall perish. Psalm 102:25-26 Heaven and earth shall pass away; but my words shall not pass away. Matthew 24:35, Mark 13:31, Luke 21:33 Thou, Lord, in the beginning hast laid the foundation of the earth; and the heavens are the works of thine hands. They shall perish. Hebrews 1:10-11

So the easiest way to avoid having to rationalise these issues is to marry someone who shares the same flavour of faith as yourself. If no one draws attention to the loopholes and yawning chasms of inconsistency, they can be happily ignored.

Afterthought

Do you remember this account from Scripture: “At the same time spake the LORD by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot. And the LORD said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia; So shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives, young and old, naked and barefoot, even with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt.” – Isaiah 20:2-4 I think there’s something in that for all of us. Don’t you?

What would you say to God?

Tags

Cancer, death, facebook, faith, God, psycopathy, religion, speaking to god, Stephen Fry

There is a Facebook trend going around where you are supposed to tell people what you would say were you to die and find yourself at the pearly gates. It appears to be one of those ‘gotcha’ questions that evangelists keep on asking, only to be shocked at the answers. I think Fry answered it best (so I’ve dredged up that clip) but here is my answer.

What would I say to him? Well I guess that would all depend on what He was.

If god was an awareness at the very beginning of things, who gathered together the raw materials and announced “let there be light”, then that is different. I’d love to sit down with that being and ask him about pretty much everything. What bits did we get right, where did we not understand something, where were we so close to understanding the truth but just missed it. I’d love to sit down beside that being and watch it all play out, beginning to end. That would be incredible.

If God was a being that developed creation, then decided he wanted something more. He reached down into one little creature and tampered with it to give it both self-awareness and free will, then sat back to see how thing would unfold. Then that would be amazing too.I’d want to talk to them too, ask them where humanity surprised them, learn about what they found disappointing, and what things we did that impressed or surprised Him. I’d love to know what He thought about our many bumbling attempts at religions, and if any of them even came close.

If we’re going back to early polytheism with the Sumerian,or Greek gods, then I’d still have questions. We know these gods were practically human, they may have been gods but they were flawed. they were prone to petty jealousies, big mistakes, and temper tantrums. They were beings with power but no one to answer to, no consequences for their actions unless they upset another of their kind. They made no claim to being good or evil, they were just capricious and powerful. I could respect that, kind of like kids with an ant far, sure they might not be benevolent, but I can understand why.

However if you’ve got a god that is able to intervene in our world, is all knowing, and claims to be benevolent, then we have a problem. To quote Stephen Fry, “bone cancer in children, what is that about?” So much misery in this world is outside our control, but if it was within the control of an ultimate being its existence goes from being unfortunate to downright evil. Parasites that clog our bodies until we die? Diseases that leave people deaf, blind, crippled, or in pain. Each natural disaster becomes a petty attack on humanity, because as much as we are damaging the planet, we’re not the direct cause of it all. If that is God, I have no interest in meeting it, much less talking to it.

An all powerful creator could have removed all of these factors, without in any way compromising our free will. If He was leaving them to see how we would react, then that is not a being that could in any way be described as good. What sort of deity would send a thousand prophets, each with a different message? How is depression, or Alzheimers a divine blessing? Why give us organs that try and kill us, bodies that break down painfully as we age, and an inability to empathise with others of our own species. Worse still if God really does have a plan for each of of, if that’s the case we don’t even have free will, the terrible things that happen to us that we think are within our control are just as unavoidable. That would be a dark god that exists just to make His creations suffer, a psychopathic megalomaniac that is so ancient that only sadism truly entertains it now.

Stephen Fry’s answer below.

EDIT see also http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/feb/02/stephen-fry-god-christianity-evil-maniac?CMP=ema_632

A Wyrd Adventure in Europe

Tags

Air Travel, Euro trip, fiery death, gap year, Greece, Human Sardine, Italy

“Adventure? What sort of adventure?” I hear you mutter to yourself down the pipeline of the internet, and I mutter in turn “buggered if I know”. All two meters of me is going to be folded into a tiny airline seat like a human sardine, and then the distinctly un-aerodynamic looking metal tube will be flung violently from continent to continent with an underbelly full of highly explosive dinosaur extract.

Economy Class

From the moment I set foot on this winged technological death-trap, the ‘adventure’ starts, and it looks tragically bad. A tragedy worth of the bard himself, should he have lived to this modern age without creeping senility; and be so hard up for a quid that he’d need to churn out another truly trashy play. Surely if man was meant to fly we’d be able to mate with seagulls… hmm… somebody look into that. Romeo and Ethel the seagull, I feel a Pulitzer prize coming on.

In a few days I do the white-middle-class rite of passage, I get on to a plane and schlep around Europe for a few weeks. I will look down upon these quaint provincials and proclaim how modern and wonderful the world is where I come from, with our high tech communications, long working hours, lack of vacation time, stress induced breakdowns, and death due to obesity and sedentary lifestyle.  In turn, as they do with 10’s of thousands of school leavers taking their gap year, the locals will stare at me, wonder why this barbarian doesn’t speak a civilized language, and then bilk me for every penny they can. It is a long and honorable tradition.

The flip side is that I haven’t  been a teenager for almost 20 years, and I’ll have my wife and elderly mother in tow. This kind of precludes drug fueled orgies in Ibiza, and extreme skiing, so we’re doing the whole ‘cradle of western civilization’ thing, and sticking mainly to Greece and Italy. As this little pressure cooker may result in a vacation-triggered divorce from which I may need to slink back to the anonymity of Korea to work (and these days they test for both THC and transmittable diseases [1]), there is no point going to Amsterdam.

Still… drug fueled Ibiza orgies 😦

So hopefully I’ll be able to blog the saga… as long as nothing overly incriminatory comes to light, such as the last place my wife and mother-in-law were seen alive.

Last Stop

[1] It is obvious that demon, white-skinned, teachers are polluting South Korea with drugs and AIDS… even if all the dealers are natives, and sex ed is a joke. Of course as all the evidence shows that abstinence only sex ed only ever leads to increasing teen pregnancies, so maybe it is all a government plot to boost the chronically low birth rate.

Long time, no post

Tags

inspiration, iTunes, Lindsey Stirling, Lindsey stomp, YouTube

I’ve taken up a day job, a permanent job, and it has been brutal on the writing schedule. Things are starting to calm down now, and hopefully I’ll be able to put pen to paper more often. Or fingers to keyboard to be more precise.

So in the interest of flooding the internet with more inane band-width devouring chatter I’m going to be back here more often, possibly not so much with updates on my progress, but with updates on the world… you know, in case you haven’t gotten out of the house this month.

Lets start with a bit of inspiration Lindsey Stirling, also know as Lindsey Stomp, check out this talented young lady on YouTube, and if you like what you hear and see buy her stuff on iTunes.

Now I wouldn’t normally spruke on my pages but this is a way of supporting an independent artist and hopefully keeping alive alternatives to the ($ over art) stranglehold of the larger distributors.

SWTOR – Sinking WoW Through Online Romance

Tags

free gold, George Lucus, Phantom Edit, SWTOR, WoW

Okay, wow isn’t sinking… and SWTOR isn’t all about the romance. What it is can be summed up as Not Wow, Sci-Fi rather than fantasy, and something new with player being more than just a plot tool, as well as a extensive world. I’m moving because wow has served me well, but a relationship that has lasted this long tends to go stale. It didn’t propose, so time for me to move on. On to a game with real voiced characters, massive Lore background, and COMPANIONS. That’s what sold me really, Dragon Age and Mass Effect style companions, sorry Blizzard, don’t slam the door on your way out.

So I’m leaving the Twisting Nether behind (free gold to the first one who talks to my toons and identifies this post) and heading for a place far, far away.

George Lucus may have done what he could to gut the franchise (all hail the far superior Phantom Edit), but not even he could make a Bioware game suck. All I wanted for x-mass was a Mass Effect MMO, and by gods I’ve pretty much gotten it. So goodbye to Wow, you have served my procrastination well… it’s been a steady progress of culling my alts down to 2 servers, and now to have them fall on their swords.

On the plus side there are only 8 classes I have to play through 🙂 On the downside the smuggler looks great on concept, but kinda shoddy on mechanics. IA, JC, and SI for me

International Coming Out Day

Tags

Coming Out Day, Gay

International Coming Out Day.