10 WOMEN CHRISTIAN MEN SHOULD NOT MARRY
(Given the population is hovering around 7 billion, you can do without these 10)
In a trending post, NYCPastor details 10 women that Christian men ought to avoid when considering marriage. Today, I explain why I agree with him, though my reasons may differ slightly.
“23:19 Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses” – Ezekiel 23:19-20
1. The Divorcee.
Jesus clearly taught that unless the first marriage ended due to a partner’s sexual infidelity, a second marriage is to be considered invalid and adulterous.
|Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery. — Mark 10:11Whosoever putteth away his wife and marrieth another, committeth adultery. — Luke 16:18||Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. Matthew 5:32But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. — 1 Corinthians 7:15||When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. — Deuteronomy 24:1-2|
While the divorcee may well be considered a sinner there is a bigger concern, that being that she has already proven that she has the independence and sheer audacity to survive the loss of a husband. Naturally being a good Christian man the idea that she might survive, even thrive, without a male should be abhorrent. Worse still she has experienced both a marriage and another man’s body before, and may call you out when you claim that something is “completely natural”.
2. The Older Woman.
Not a sin, but certainly not God’s ideal. God expects men to be the spiritual leaders of the home (Eph 5:25) and it certainly requires an extra measure of grace to lead a woman who’s older than you. Testicles should always trump experience! Remember God created Eve from Adam’s rib, after Adam was sculpted from clay, so they could all play hide and seek together. “And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?” – Genesis 3:8-9
3. The Feminist.
There’s no room within Christendom for the “Christian feminist.” Though women and men have equal value in the eyes of God (Gal 3:28), they certainly aren’t allowed to act like it. Any woman who tries to usurp her husband’s authority or even claims to be a co-leader with her man is gravely dishonouring the God who created her to be subject and obedient to her husband. Such as a wife who knows what she likes in bed.
Eve was distinctly created “for” man, a point that the apostle Paul, makes abundantly clear in 1 Corinthians 11 when he writes, “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:8-9). Of course the god-given moral high ground tends to fall away when you realise that Adam was crafted from mud, and spent his days wandering around naming things like Rain-man. Not that Paul was particularly fond of women, being celibate and preferring the company of men. “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” – Corinthians 7:1
4. The Sexy-Dresser.
Sexy might inadvertently catch your eyeballs, but it shouldn’t catch your heart. I ask you, how many good Christians have met untimely deaths at the hands of Bedouin raiders because their wife showed a shapely slice of leg while gathering water from the well? Heaven forbid that she take pleasure in her own form, and not be shamed for displaying the beauty and grace that God gave her.
The way that a woman is willing to expose herself says much about her heart: “And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart” – Proverbs 7:10. The text in Proverbs explains that a woman will dress in a certain way to catch a certain type of man. Don’t be that man, I don’t want more competition.
5. The Loud-Mouth.
Women may love to talk, but there’s wisdom in looking for a woman who rarely speaks. She might encroach upon time that you could use to pontificate. Gossip and slander are not good things to have in your marriage, they belong on Fox News. Besides the eloquence of scratching ones crotch and grunting is lost on the average female. Scripture speaks repeatedly about such women:“Priscilla … expounded unto him the way of God.” – Acts 18:26. You should be especially wary of intelligent woman who aren’t afraid to communicate as they may make you feel inadequate with their eloquence and ‘book learning’.
6. The Child-Hater.
Do not marry a woman who is not willing to have children. It’s not like they’re the ones who are put in real peril, just so you can live vicariously through your offspring now that you’ve realised you’re too old to ever amount to anything.
In the Christian world-view, there is absolutely no room for two married, biologically capable, human beings to remain intentionally childless. It can not be overstated how a combined income, not syphoned away by Bratz dolls and trips to the emergency room is abhorrent to God.
If God has called you to marriage, then He actually expects children. With conversion levels at an all time low it is far easier to indoctrinate infants than to try and convince rational adults that your particular variant of God is better than all the other interpretations. Both the New and Old Testaments are very clear on this teaching “ And Moses said before the LORD, Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips, and how shall Pharaoh hearken unto me?” – Exodus 6:30 … Oops, sorry, wrong quote
7. The Wander-Luster.
Wander-Luster? That’s a word now?
There’s nothing wrong with the occasional family vacation, unless you’re working minimum wage and have to hold down three jobs with no weekends just to survive. There is something very wrong with a girl who regularly needs to be “out of the home.” The constant desire for new experiences, new places, new faces, and new forms of entertainment only serves to clearly manifest the fact that the woman has not found her rest in God. Surely a modern woman can be satisfied with the excess of being able to acess three whole rooms, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom? What more could they possibly want in a world with unprecedented open borders and rapid, safe, travel? Believe it or not, Scripture speaks repeatedly about such women: “And when the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon concerning the name of the LORD, she came to prove him with hard questions. – Kings 10:1 See they ask questions too, and we can’t have that!
8. The Career Woman.
There is nothing wrong with a woman who works, having said that I’m now going to tell you there is something wrong with a woman who works. What’s wrong is a woman who puts her career ahead of her family. Only men are allowed to do that… for.. reasons. Modern society might hate to hear this, but God made men to be the providers, regardless of how many broken bones, mental breakdowns or lay-offs they experience, and women to be the nurturers of the home. It’s okay for a woman to be a doctor, attorney, or any other professional, since they often do a better job of it. However, if her career is coming at the expense of her home, then something is wrong. It is not the place of the man to actual spend time with his young children, they’ll see us plenty over the weekends. So in the event of children she should give up her job as a life saving cardiovascular surgeon, so that the man can provide for the triplets on his wage from recycling beer cans.
I understand that there might be a season of life where the wife might have to be the main bread-winner due to her husband’s unemployment, but it should not be the desired norm. Ugh, man must make money, no make money and penis fall off! After all men are incapable of the emotional availability required to raise children as this takes up valuable learning room that should be devoted to work, sport, and scratching that annoying swamp-arse.
9. The Devotion-less Woman.
Is the woman having a regular, daily devotional time with her God? If she doesn’t love the Lord now, chances are, she won’t love the Lord after marriage, which means there is that much more time you’ll be forced to spend together… possibly even talking!!!! (Don’t delude yourself–you’re not going to change her. She won’t be joining you for the monthly animal sacrifice).
You want to marry a girl who has an intimate relationship with Jesus. Unless Jesus is a tattooed Mexican gun runner, in which case I suggest you stay the hell away from his girl. Jesus (not you) has to be the first man in her life.
Here are some good questions to ask: Does she have an active prayer life? If so does she pray to god, dance around naked under the moonlight, handle poisonous snakes, or just invoke the four cardinal directions/elements? Does she have a heart for evangelism, because nothing beats a girl who is happy to tell people they’re going to hell! Is she hungry for God’s Word, or does she just want to swallow your soul and drag you down into a hedonistic, atheist cohabitation? What does her pastor/High Priest think about her?
10 The Unbeliever.
Scripture is replete with exhortations against such marriages (in both the Old and New Testaments). Contrary to popular misconception, God’s prohibition against marriages to foreign women in the Old Testament was not due to racism. Instead, God was simply preventing the spread of education.
Naturally questioning the word of God won’t make Him angry “God will not threaten like man, nor be inflamed to anger.” – Judith 8:15 but even it it did, it would only be brief “For his anger endureth but a moment.” – Psalm 30:5 , though brief for a deity might really ruin your life “And the Lord’s anger was kindled against Israel, and he made them wander in the wilderness for forty years.” – Numbers 32:13
The teachings of every religion grow over time, and the cognitive dissonance that can come from Bronze Age morality in a digital world can be quite extreme. Worse still when the infallible source material actually contradicts itself quite often. For example
Is it wrong to have sex outside of marriage?
|Thou shalt not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14, Deuteronomy 5:18Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4||And the Lord said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms…. Hosea 1:2
Then said the Lord unto me, God yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress. Hosea 3:1
Does God want some to go to hell?
|God our Saviour; who will have all men to be saved. 1 Timothy 2:3-4
The Lord is … not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
|He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them. John 12:40
God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned. 2 Thessalonians 2:11-12
Do prayers work?
|Joel 2:32 Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered.||Matthew 7:21 Not every on that saith unto me Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Ezekiel 8:18 Therefore will I also deal in fury: mine eye shall not spare, neither will I have pity: and though they cry in mine ears with a loud voice, yet will I not hear them.
Micah 3:4 Then shall they cry unto the Lord, but he will not hear them: he will even hide his face from them at that time.
Should Christians pray in public?
|1 Timothy 2:8 I will therefore that men pray everywhere, lifting up holy hands.||Matthew 6:5-6 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father in secret shall reward thee openly.|
How many Gods are there?
|I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me. Isaiah 43:10
There is one God; and there is none other but he. Mark 12:32
That they might know thee the only true God. John 17:3
But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him. 1 Corinthians 8:6
|And against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgment. Exodus 12:12
Who is like unto thee, O LORD, among the gods? Exodus 15:11
Now I know that the LORD is greater than all gods. Exodus 18:11
Upon their gods also the LORD executed judgments. Numbers 33:4
They served other gods. Joshua 24:2
Wilt not thou possess that which Chemosh thy god giveth thee to possess? Judges 11:24
The Lord … is to be feared above all gods. 1 Chronicles 16:25
Is God the source of evil?
|Behold, this evil is of the Lord. 2 Kings 6:33
I … create evil. Isaiah 45:7
Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good? Lamentations 3:38
|For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee. Psalm 5:4
God is love. 1 John 4:8
How long will the earth last?
|Who laid the foundations of the earth, that it should not be removed for ever. Psalm 104:5
One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. Ecclessiastes 1:4
|The earth and the heavens are the work of thy hands. They shall perish. Psalm 102:25-26
Thou, Lord, in the beginning hast laid the foundation of the earth; and the heavens are the works of thine hands. They shall perish. Hebrews 1:10-11
So the easiest way to avoid having to rationalise these issues is to marry someone who shares the same flavour of faith as yourself. If no one draws attention to the loopholes and yawning chasms of inconsistency, they can be happily ignored.
Do you remember this account from Scripture: “At the same time spake the LORD by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot. And the LORD said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia; So shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives, young and old, naked and barefoot, even with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt.” – Isaiah 20:2-4 I think there’s something in that for all of us. Don’t you?